Chapter 1 Eager
Poking out my tongue and making a
silly noise I started directly at my reflection in
the mirror as a beautiful woman stared back at me. My
bright red lipstick was a little ostentatious but I
wasnt very good with makeup, just as long as my
lips looked kissable was all that really mattered. I
stared at my brown eyes that somehow looked brighter
in the light of the bathroom before fluttering them
softly. My cheeks were pale contrasting against my
bright red lips giving me the urge to try using
lipstick as blusher, but luckily I stopped myself as
I was reminded of the disastrous attempt to try such
a thing on a previous occasion. My hair, a soft
platinum blonde, draped against my bare shoulders as
if giving me a gentle hug of comfort. It was one part
of my body I was proud to show off with it being all
natural. Obviously not the colour, that came from a
bottle, but the hair itself. In fact I couldnt
recall a single moment in my entire life when I wasnt
proud of my hair.
I smiled to myself then licked my
lips before gently kissing the mirror. I was perfect,
all I needed was to then get myself dressed. I
hurried out of the bathroom, in nothing but my white
knickers, into the bedroom taking a glimpse at the
clock. It was still quite early, 7.00pm, I had plenty
of time but the excitement was tingling my belly and
making me want to hurry.
I switched on the radio and started
dancing around the room with my bare feet pressing
against the soft carpet, only to almost lose balance
as the back of my leg hit against the corner of the
bed. My huge double bed took up most of the room
while a small cupboard containing my jewellery and
radio was crammed into the corner next to my wardrobe.
I didnt even have room for a mirror in the
bedroom causing me to go back and forth into the
bathroom even when trying on new outfits. The
bathroom mirror was far from ideal for doing such a
thing with it being too small.
Picking up an earring from the
jewellery box in front of me I began to fiddle with
it trying to put it on. There was something sensual
about attaching earrings that gave me pleasure when
sliding them through the ear, yet at the same time I
felt frustration when they didnt go in first
time. Jabbing at my earlobe again and again wasnt
something I relished but once it slid inside there
was a definite sensation that I could only describe
as sexual. Maybe I was just a perv for thinking such
As soon as the first earring was in
place I clipped on the back then proceeded to pick up
the second earring which I noticed didnt appear
to have a backing clip. I knew it was around
somewhere so it didnt bother me.
The earrings were studs in the form
of two bright red rubies that matched my lipstick
giving an overall redness to look. I was also
intending to wear a red mini-dress that evening
knowing full well that I didnt have red shoes
or handbag to match.
Letting out a sharp intake of
breath through gritted teeth, while thinking of the
worse obscenity I could think of, I reminded myself
not to hurry as I pricked the earring against my lobe.
It didnt appear to be bleeding but I knew my
ear would be sore by the morning.
The radio was beginning to annoy me
too as the song had ended and a DJ waffled on about
something meaningless in his fake cool accent. While
still keeping the earring held against my ear I
hurried over to the radio and switched it off before
letting out a sigh of relief. Then with luck more
than skill the earring slipped into place causing me
to smile a little at the sensual feeling.
Glancing toward the heaped pile of
jewellery stuffed into the jewellery box I was only
just beginning to realise how disorganised and messy
I really was, it had been many a year since I was
able to close its lid and I was in much need of a
clearout. My wardrobe was a lot worse as I had grown
out of many of the beautiful clothes long ago,
especially around the tummy area.
I tutted with annoyance as I heard
the sound of the phone ringing in the living room. My
small apartment meant it wasnt more than a few
strides away from the bedroom to the living room but
I didnt like to move around the rest of the
flat practically naked, it just didnt feel
right, but there was no time to fetch anything to
cover myself as I rushed out of the bedroom into the
living room at the end of the hall.
Hello, I said as I
picked up the receiver while exhaling a slightly
There were a few moments before I
received a response. I could hear loud music thumping
in the background and overlapped voices so I already
figured who was calling me.
Steph? Said a high
pitched voice on the other end of the phone, Are
you coming tonight?
It was Deirdre one of my closest
friends. When I say friend she was more of an
acquaintance for we never socialised outside of the
local bar we often frequented. In fact I knew nothing
of her personal life and she knew nothing of mine.
Even so, she was still someone I considered as one of
my closest friends, which just showed the true state
of my social life. In many ways my life was just as
messy and disorganised as my bedroom.
Yes, I responded down
the phone, But its still early yet. Im
just getting ready now.
Weve got a little
dilemma going on, Deirdre said, Well not
a dilemma as such, more of a discussion, and we could
use your input.
I was still standing holding the
phone up to my ear. It was clear this wasnt
just a quick phone call as I had first expected so I
sat myself down on the comfy sofa which felt totally
odd against my bare skin. I then moved the phone to
my other ear and positioned my legs to one side
preparing to listen to what Deirdre was about to tell
Whats the problem?
I asked her.
Tell her about the
I heard a voice in the background of the call as well
as other overlapped voices.
Im telling her,
Deirdre told them.
I let out a large breath while
waiting patiently for Deirdre to address me. I looked
down at my bare knees then at my plain white knickers
before moving onto my nails. I wondered if I had time
to paint them before going out.
Hello? I said down the
Just a min, Deirdre
replied before continuing to speak with other people
at the bar.
I wondered what she wanted and if
there was something specific that I was able to help
her with. It wasnt as though I had any
particular expertise on anything, or possessed
anything that the others at the bar didnt. If
anything the phone call was delaying my attendance as
all I was doing was waiting around rather than
I glanced down at one of the small
scars across the base of my breast. It didnt
bother me in the slightest. Having breast implants
was something I never regretted and the advantages of
having a large bust far outweighed the disadvantages
of having to put up with unsightly scars. Not that
anyone, other than myself, ever got to see them.
Steph you still there?
Deirdres voice called out down the phone.
Yes, Im still here,
So, what time are you coming?
I repositioned myself on the sofa.
Well you caught me in the
middle of getting ready, I said, Ill
be there within the hour. Whats the dilemma you
want help with?
Were having a
discussion about footwear, she replied with a
serious tone, Jackies been having
problems getting shoes in her size, so were
wondering if you know of any places that sell larger
sized shoes, particularly heels.
I let out a breath slightly annoyed
at the triviality of the so-called dilemma but also
relieved for the very same reason.
Oh is that all, I said,
Well discuss it when I get there.
You have large feet dont
you? Deirdre asked.
I paused before responding.
Not particularly, I
said, I take a size eight.
I looked down at my bare feet as if
to confirm my own statement then wiggled my toes.
Oh, well thats smaller
than my own, Deirdre said with a slight chuckle,
I dont know where I got that impression
Well it doesnt matter,
I said, I know plenty of shoe outlets that
cater for larger sizes. Ill bring a list with
me and discuss them with Jackie when I get there.
Deirdre proceeded to pass on the
message while still keeping me hanging on the phone.
For someone who I considered a good friend I found
her quite frustrating at times.
I need to go now, I
said down the phone.
Yes! Deirdre called out
loudly into my ear causing me to grimace, See
you in an hour, please hurry. Bye.
Bye, I replied before
placing the receiver back down.
I had a good mind to intentionally
turn up a little later than an hour just to spite her
but that wasnt really my way. I certainly wasnt
intending to hurry though.
There was a chill in the air that I
was only just beginning to notice after spending so
much time sitting with practically not a stitch on. I
jumped up to my feet then wiggled my body in a half
dance getting the warmth back before rushing back
into the bedroom.
It took me a few moments to figure
out what I was doing before the phone call, then
remembered I needed to select a suitable dress from
my overcrowded wardrobe. It was a Monday, not the
most special day of the week, with nothing
particularly important going on, so just something
simple would do. I stared blankly at the pile of
intermixed rags while deciding on the most
It doesnt really matter,
I mouthed to myself while still staring ahead, Anything
I grabbed my long red dress then
held it against my body before immediately dismissing
it and throwing it into the bed due to the wine stain
down the front. I let out a breath then continued to
stare. My mind had already decided to take the red
dress knowing that it was the perfect fit yet I knew
the stain was noticeable. I wondered if I could wipe
it clean using a wet sponge. It probably wouldnt
be noticeable anyway due to the dim lights at the bar,
I told myself. I could even pretend it was a new
stain I got that very night if anyone did notice. I
pondered with my decision.
Before even reaching a final
decision I grabbed the dress from the bed and hurried
into the bathroom and began sponging down the stain.
It wasnt as bad as I had first thought and was
wiping away cleanly. Just as long as it didnt
reappear once the damp patch dried then it would be
fine. I grabbed the fluffy white towel from the towel
rack and began pressing it against the dress soaking
up the moisture left by the sponge. It was obvious
the stain was pretty bad when I noticed the white
towel had soaked up a patch of red, but at least that
meant the dress was getting cleaner.
I slipped the dress over my head
then headed back into the bedroom grabbing my shoes.
They were a light shade of purple and in no way
matched the dress but they did however match my
handbag perfectly so it wasnt a complete
fashion faux-pas. Not that I was particularly
bothered by that anyway, just as long as I made the
effort that was the main thing.
It was no ordinary bar I was
intending to visit that evening. We didnt judge
each other based upon our appearance for it was inner
beauty we cherished. I knew full well no one would
make a bitchy comment based upon my clothing or style,
and would far more likely compliment me upon making
the effort of dressing nicely rather than how I
actually looked. It was a place I could go and spend
an evening with friends and enjoy myself sharing a
common trait with all attendees that bonded us
together like a close family. Even strangers who were
only just venturing into our exciting world were
welcomed with open arms and treated the same way with
the dignity and respect they deserved. Everyone could
be their true selves without hiding behind the
metaphorical mask that society imposed, forcing us to
look and behave in the way it dictated. The bar was a
sanctuary filled with the friendliest, kindest,
caring and most of all understanding people in
society. It was a transvestite bar, for I in fact was
born male, living as a female in this crazy gender
Grrrr! I moaned loudly
as I realised I had lost my earring.
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