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Blushing Goth (Part 1).
Copyright 2009, 2018 by Raymond Johnson. Fifth edition.
Main cover photo provided by Adam Wasilewski. (iStock Photo).
Part 1 cover photo provided by Igor Igorevich. (iStock Photo).

Dedicated to my internet friends Metermaid, 7up and Sassy.

“I don’t mind living in a man’s world, just as long as I can be a woman in it.” – Marilyn Monroe.

Whilst visiting a transvestite bar 35 year old Steph finds herself completely smitten when she meets a shy young goth named Mimi. With an artistic flare for makeup the beautician Mimi Gives Steph a full makeover and they become close friends until an embarrassing incident occurs that causes Mimi to reach breaking point. Steph finds herself in the middle of a conflict Mimi has been having with herself and must intervene before she breaks down completely. In the process she finds herself falling deeply in love.



Chapter 1 – Eager Nerves

Poking out my tongue and making a silly noise I started directly at my reflection in the mirror as a beautiful woman stared back at me. My bright red lipstick was a little ostentatious but I wasn’t very good with makeup, just as long as my lips looked kissable was all that really mattered. I stared at my brown eyes that somehow looked brighter in the light of the bathroom before fluttering them softly. My cheeks were pale contrasting against my bright red lips giving me the urge to try using lipstick as blusher, but luckily I stopped myself as I was reminded of the disastrous attempt to try such a thing on a previous occasion. My hair, a soft platinum blonde, draped against my bare shoulders as if giving me a gentle hug of comfort. It was one part of my body I was proud to show off with it being all natural. Obviously not the colour, that came from a bottle, but the hair itself. In fact I couldn’t recall a single moment in my entire life when I wasn’t proud of my hair.

I smiled to myself then licked my lips before gently kissing the mirror. I was perfect, all I needed was to then get myself dressed. I hurried out of the bathroom, in nothing but my white knickers, into the bedroom taking a glimpse at the clock. It was still quite early, 7.00pm, I had plenty of time but the excitement was tingling my belly and making me want to hurry.

I switched on the radio and started dancing around the room with my bare feet pressing against the soft carpet, only to almost lose balance as the back of my leg hit against the corner of the bed. My huge double bed took up most of the room while a small cupboard containing my jewellery and radio was crammed into the corner next to my wardrobe. I didn’t even have room for a mirror in the bedroom causing me to go back and forth into the bathroom even when trying on new outfits. The bathroom mirror was far from ideal for doing such a thing with it being too small.

Picking up an earring from the jewellery box in front of me I began to fiddle with it trying to put it on. There was something sensual about attaching earrings that gave me pleasure when sliding them through the ear, yet at the same time I felt frustration when they didn’t go in first time. Jabbing at my earlobe again and again wasn’t something I relished but once it slid inside there was a definite sensation that I could only describe as sexual. Maybe I was just a perv for thinking such a thing.

As soon as the first earring was in place I clipped on the back then proceeded to pick up the second earring which I noticed didn’t appear to have a backing clip. I knew it was around somewhere so it didn’t bother me.

The earrings were studs in the form of two bright red rubies that matched my lipstick giving an overall redness to look. I was also intending to wear a red mini-dress that evening knowing full well that I didn’t have red shoes or handbag to match.

Letting out a sharp intake of breath through gritted teeth, while thinking of the worse obscenity I could think of, I reminded myself not to hurry as I pricked the earring against my lobe. It didn’t appear to be bleeding but I knew my ear would be sore by the morning.

The radio was beginning to annoy me too as the song had ended and a DJ waffled on about something meaningless in his fake cool accent. While still keeping the earring held against my ear I hurried over to the radio and switched it off before letting out a sigh of relief. Then with luck more than skill the earring slipped into place causing me to smile a little at the sensual feeling.

Glancing toward the heaped pile of jewellery stuffed into the jewellery box I was only just beginning to realise how disorganised and messy I really was, it had been many a year since I was able to close its lid and I was in much need of a clearout. My wardrobe was a lot worse as I had grown out of many of the beautiful clothes long ago, especially around the tummy area.

I tutted with annoyance as I heard the sound of the phone ringing in the living room. My small apartment meant it wasn’t more than a few strides away from the bedroom to the living room but I didn’t like to move around the rest of the flat practically naked, it just didn’t feel right, but there was no time to fetch anything to cover myself as I rushed out of the bedroom into the living room at the end of the hall.

“Hello,” I said as I picked up the receiver while exhaling a slightly exhausted breath.

There were a few moments before I received a response. I could hear loud music thumping in the background and overlapped voices so I already figured who was calling me.

“Steph?” Said a high pitched voice on the other end of the phone, “Are you coming tonight?”

It was Deirdre one of my closest friends. When I say friend she was more of an acquaintance for we never socialised outside of the local bar we often frequented. In fact I knew nothing of her personal life and she knew nothing of mine. Even so, she was still someone I considered as one of my closest friends, which just showed the true state of my social life. In many ways my life was just as messy and disorganised as my bedroom.

“Yes,” I responded down the phone, “But it’s still early yet. I’m just getting ready now.”

“We’ve got a little dilemma going on,” Deirdre said, “Well not a dilemma as such, more of a discussion, and we could use your input.”

I was still standing holding the phone up to my ear. It was clear this wasn’t just a quick phone call as I had first expected so I sat myself down on the comfy sofa which felt totally odd against my bare skin. I then moved the phone to my other ear and positioned my legs to one side preparing to listen to what Deirdre was about to tell me.

“What’s the problem?” I asked her.

“Tell her about the…” I heard a voice in the background of the call as well as other overlapped voices.

“I’m telling her,” Deirdre told them.

I let out a large breath while waiting patiently for Deirdre to address me. I looked down at my bare knees then at my plain white knickers before moving onto my nails. I wondered if I had time to paint them before going out.

“Hello?” I said down the phone.

“Just a min,” Deirdre replied before continuing to speak with other people at the bar.

I wondered what she wanted and if there was something specific that I was able to help her with. It wasn’t as though I had any particular expertise on anything, or possessed anything that the others at the bar didn’t. If anything the phone call was delaying my attendance as all I was doing was waiting around rather than getting ready.

I glanced down at one of the small scars across the base of my breast. It didn’t bother me in the slightest. Having breast implants was something I never regretted and the advantages of having a large bust far outweighed the disadvantages of having to put up with unsightly scars. Not that anyone, other than myself, ever got to see them.

“Steph you still there?” Deirdre’s voice called out down the phone.

“Yes, I’m still here,” I said.

“So, what time are you coming?” She asked.

I repositioned myself on the sofa.

“Well you caught me in the middle of getting ready,” I said, “I’ll be there within the hour. What’s the dilemma you want help with?”

“We’re having a discussion about footwear,” she replied with a serious tone, “Jackie’s been having problems getting shoes in her size, so we’re wondering if you know of any places that sell larger sized shoes, particularly heels.”

I let out a breath slightly annoyed at the triviality of the so-called dilemma but also relieved for the very same reason.

“Oh is that all,” I said, “We’ll discuss it when I get there.”

“You have large feet don’t you?” Deirdre asked.

I paused before responding.

“Not particularly,” I said, “I take a size eight.”

I looked down at my bare feet as if to confirm my own statement then wiggled my toes.

“Oh, well that’s smaller than my own,” Deirdre said with a slight chuckle, “I don’t know where I got that impression from.”

“Well it doesn’t matter,” I said, “I know plenty of shoe outlets that cater for larger sizes. I’ll bring a list with me and discuss them with Jackie when I get there.”

Deirdre proceeded to pass on the message while still keeping me hanging on the phone. For someone who I considered a good friend I found her quite frustrating at times.

“I need to go now,” I said down the phone.

“Yes!” Deirdre called out loudly into my ear causing me to grimace, “See you in an hour, please hurry. Bye.”

“Bye,” I replied before placing the receiver back down.

I had a good mind to intentionally turn up a little later than an hour just to spite her but that wasn’t really my way. I certainly wasn’t intending to hurry though.

There was a chill in the air that I was only just beginning to notice after spending so much time sitting with practically not a stitch on. I jumped up to my feet then wiggled my body in a half dance getting the warmth back before rushing back into the bedroom.

It took me a few moments to figure out what I was doing before the phone call, then remembered I needed to select a suitable dress from my overcrowded wardrobe. It was a Monday, not the most special day of the week, with nothing particularly important going on, so just something simple would do. I stared blankly at the pile of intermixed rags while deciding on the most appropriate.

“It doesn’t really matter,” I mouthed to myself while still staring ahead, “Anything will do.”

I grabbed my long red dress then held it against my body before immediately dismissing it and throwing it into the bed due to the wine stain down the front. I let out a breath then continued to stare. My mind had already decided to take the red dress knowing that it was the perfect fit yet I knew the stain was noticeable. I wondered if I could wipe it clean using a wet sponge. It probably wouldn’t be noticeable anyway due to the dim lights at the bar, I told myself. I could even pretend it was a new stain I got that very night if anyone did notice. I pondered with my decision.

Before even reaching a final decision I grabbed the dress from the bed and hurried into the bathroom and began sponging down the stain. It wasn’t as bad as I had first thought and was wiping away cleanly. Just as long as it didn’t reappear once the damp patch dried then it would be fine. I grabbed the fluffy white towel from the towel rack and began pressing it against the dress soaking up the moisture left by the sponge. It was obvious the stain was pretty bad when I noticed the white towel had soaked up a patch of red, but at least that meant the dress was getting cleaner.

I slipped the dress over my head then headed back into the bedroom grabbing my shoes. They were a light shade of purple and in no way matched the dress but they did however match my handbag perfectly so it wasn’t a complete fashion faux-pas. Not that I was particularly bothered by that anyway, just as long as I made the effort that was the main thing.

It was no ordinary bar I was intending to visit that evening. We didn’t judge each other based upon our appearance for it was inner beauty we cherished. I knew full well no one would make a bitchy comment based upon my clothing or style, and would far more likely compliment me upon making the effort of dressing nicely rather than how I actually looked. It was a place I could go and spend an evening with friends and enjoy myself sharing a common trait with all attendees that bonded us together like a close family. Even strangers who were only just venturing into our exciting world were welcomed with open arms and treated the same way with the dignity and respect they deserved. Everyone could be their true selves without hiding behind the metaphorical mask that society imposed, forcing us to look and behave in the way it dictated. The bar was a sanctuary filled with the friendliest, kindest, caring and most of all understanding people in society. It was a transvestite bar, for I in fact was born male, living as a female in this crazy gender orientated world.

“Grrrr!” I moaned loudly as I realised I had lost my earring.


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